Personal Development Coach

I’m realizing more and more the importance of having a personal development coach to keep evolving. I just finished reading Who Are You Really and What Do You Want by Shad Helmstetter: a powerful book on self-talk and the importance of having a coach. Incidentally, I’m in the 5^th week of my coaching program with Peak Potentials. I had life coaches in the past, I didn’t really see the need to have one now, but boy oh boy is it catapulting me at exponential speed!

It started by a resistance of having to report daily. I find that I already report to myself enough and I didn’t need someone else to keep me in check. I feared that this would add to the pressure I’m already putting on myself to perform. When I openly admitted to my coach that I didn’t want to report on my daily activities, I also opened up to understanding a deeper meaning to this repulsion.

Not reporting to someone else was in fact a way to keep lying to myself into the belief that I was making a lot of effort. When I got that out of my system, I realized that I could ask a lot more of myself… and it didn’t feel demanding at all! In fact, it’s even fun and exciting to exceed the daily and weekly objectives that I set for myself! I’ve also introduced the concept of weekly rewards (I treat myself to a nice restaurant) but I feel that I don’t even need external rewards that much. The simple feeling of pride in beating my weekly goals is enough satisfaction to keep me going and constantly aim higher.

I feel that I’m redoing part of my education. Something went wrong in my initial programming regarding effort and rewards and I have to set that straight. This comparison might sound weird but it feels like training a dog. The reward or the punishment need to come right after the good or bad behaviour. Your window of opportunity to show a dog he did something right or wrong is very narrow. Well I’m applying a similar concept for my efforts. If I do something positive, such as an effort in the right direction of my personal development, I treat myself to something good. If I don’t do what I should be doing, then I don’t allow myself the reward.

That’s how it started at least. Because very quickly, I didn’t need to grant myself physical rewards and the simple pride of knowing that I am on the right track is enough to keep me going. I feel like I’m the parent of my inner child and I’m re-educating and re-programming him so that he enjoys making efforts in order to grow.

This is crucial in setting up passive income streams because it’s a lot of upfront work before results show. I believe that being able to discipline ourselves is crucial in succeeding a passive income project. Bob Proctor says it time and again: “Discipline is the ability to give yourself a command and follow it.” And I can now grasp the full extent of this quote as I am now starting to get scared to see less and less limits to where I can go!

If you want to learn more on building passive income stream, read my article Getting Started With Passive Income.

Healing the Inner Child

Attending the Mission to Millions seminar made me realize how much of my childhood pain I still carry in my current life. Recognizing the pain that is buried inside of us is layer by layer process: we’re not aware of the deeper layers because they are too painful to face. But once you go through a superficial layer and clean the pain that was stored there, you regain some of your personal power and you are ready to tackle a deeper, more painful layer.

This is what happened when I went back to high school 15 years after graduating to speak about my coming out experience. One of my biggest surprises was to realize how inoffensive this environment was, while in my mind I was still carrying the memories of high school being a very hostile place where I was constantly afraid of being bullied. Going back 15 years later with a much stronger self confidence changed my vision of this environment, and it affected my vision of both now and 15 years ago! I know and I feel that I healed a big chunk of my teenage-hood simply by physically going back to a high school and realizing how benevolent this environment can be when coming from a different perspective.

Re-Experiencing with Grownup Eyes

I still find absolutely amazing that our memory retains information according to its emotional importance. I find fascinating that, even though my self-confidence grew a lot since high school, because some memories were inserted in my mind while my self-confidence was at a certain level, I still feel the effects of these events as if my self-confidence had remained to that low level. It’s not enough to KNOW that a certain memory is no longer valid, you have to EXPERIENCE a newer, better event to replace that memory with new information that serves you better.

Unfortunately, I don’t see practical occasions where I could go back to a primary school and heal that part of my childhood as well. But instead I started going back through visualization. I discovered a powerful Energy Healing Therapy that we can perform on ourselves and that works very well. This technique says that the first step to healing the inner child is awareness of your childhood traumas. In my case, it was a fear of lacking and losing affection, a fear of abandonment and a feeling of disconnection from humanity. Once you have found what are the most painful memories of your childhood, you need to invite the pain into your conscious mind. In order to protect you, your subconscious mind has pushed the pain down somewhere inside of you so that you don’t have to consciously feel it anymore, but it still has the same effects on you even though you are not consciously aware of it anymore. You simply have become accustomed to the pain. Carrying a large amount of suffering inside you contributes to keeping you away from the source (or God) and will lead to a feeling of isolation. This will also produce a feeling of missing out on life and of being disconnected from your true passion and life’s purpose.

Going Back to the Source

If you need pointers to help you find out what you biggest childhood hurdles are, you can assume that shame is a good one to start with. Shame is at the core of all wounds. I did a psychotherapy for a few years and my psychologist kept coming back on the theme of shame. It took me years to open up to the concept and realize the amount of shame that I felt during my childhood. My subconscious mind was protecting me and preventing that realization from coming into my conscious mind. And all that time I believed she was on the wrong track! This is just to tell you how much the mind can go to great extents to keep you “protected” from a Truth that could hurt you. The problem though is that the mind is only protecting you on the short term. On the long run, it is better to face the pain of bringing up painful memories and getting rid of them permanently.

So here’s how to do it:

1. Sit or lie down and relax. Take a couple of deep breaths and allow your body to relax completely.

2. Turn your attention inwards and ask yourself what is to be released. Pay close attention to your emotions and to what you feel in your body.

3. Once you have physically located the pain, visualize yourself reaching in and gently pulling it out.

4. Shower was is being removed with love and light and fill the new empty space with light.

5. Once you’re done, surround yourself with a bubble of love and protection and visualize your connection to the cosmos and the earth with a column of light flowing through the top of your head and the bottom of your root chakra.

Continue breathing slowly and deeply for a few minutes to continue the healing process.

As I said earlier, childhood pain is organized in layers. Healing the inner child will therefore likely be done in several steps. You will make more progress during some sessions, less in others. At the beginning it might take more time to scratch the surface but as you get used to the process, it will become easier and easier to address deeper issues.

Click here to read more about the Subconscious Mind Childhood.