Goal Setting According to Feelings

Goal setting. I came across an EXCELLENT idea recently: set your goals according to what you want to FEEL instead of what you want to achieve. When you do that, it doesn’t matter whether your reached your goal according to the predicated deadline, because you enjoyed every (in theory) step of the way. In reality, you might have ups and downs along the journey, but if you keep your focus of the feeling you want to feel, you’ll enjoy more overall happiness than if you had achieved your goal by the sweat of your brow. My first reaction to that new idea was: but what if I stop accomplishing anything valuable? What if my life becomes a total anarchy of unaccomplished projects? Well, that’s how my rational mind reacted at least. When things settled down, I remembered my year spent in Scotland. (See my article on Taking a Pause in Life) That year, even 14 years later, has been the best year of my life!! Why? Because I didn’t strive to achieve anything special. I simply enjoyed life as it unfolded, savouring a continuous string of present moments. What more can you ask of life?

The video that sparked my thoughts on this is by Marie Forleo and Danielle LaPorte and you can watch it here:

Ask yourself what you need to do to feel the way you want to feel. Also pay close attention to your environment. People around us have a greater impact than we realize, especially when their vibrational level is close to ours, the influence is even stronger. Just like a radio channel is only affected by the radio waves that are close to it. Therefore, the negative vibrations you need to avoid the most are the ones just below yours. Vibrations are part of a continuum. You probably have already been in contact with someone so negative that it made them look ridiculous. Because that person’s vibrational level was so different than yours, it didn’t affect you so much. But when it’s closer to yours, the impact is much more important: it will lift you up if the vibrational level is higher than yours, but drag you down if it is lower.

The number of people will have an effect as well. If the energy level of a group is high, it will lift you up more than if a single person had that same vibrational level. This is why “miracles” can happen at personal development seminars. Everybody’s energy adds up to create a powerful catalyst for change. But this is also why a negative environment at work is worse than simply mixing with just a few negative coworkers. So start paying attention to the environments you spend most of your time in and make sure that they will lift you up.

Follow this link to read more on the power of vibrational levels.

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How to overcome limiting beliefs?

I watched many videos on how to overcome limiting beliefs and inner thoughts. I know the theory very well. But how to put that theory into useful practice? I’m just starting to realize how powerful the resistance can be. Right now, I feel I have all the tools required to evolve and to live a better a life… but I don’t FEEL like using them! How terrible is that?! That’s because I still have resistance. I KNOW that my “previous” life and beliefs don’t serve me, but it’s part of the so comfortable known. It still amazes me that I haven’t drank coffee for 6 months but I still miss the IDEA of drinking it! If I have a sip now, I don’t like the taste anymore, and I don’t like the effect in my body either, but I’m still attached to the idea of liking coffee! It definitely takes time to erase memories – even more so for memories of things you have been addicted to.

I just watched a very useful video from Marie Forleo who gives advice on how to go beyond your subconscious limiting beliefs. Here are the 5 steps:

1. Find the wisdom in your resistance. Don’t try to resist your resistance, trust that is there for a good reason and you should understand what it’s protecting you from to go alongside with it;

2. What are the exacts fears that the subconscious is looking out for? Get the details and genuinely and kindly interview yourself. My fear of evolution can be broken down into my fear of losing my friends, my fear of being a reject, my fear of isolation, my fear of affirming myself, my fear of existing, my fear of not being loved and, ultimately, my fear of being loved! Wow! How powerful is that?!

3. Set your intention to work WITH your subconscious resistance and not in opposition to it. Respect that your resistance is there for a good reason. It wants to protect you from all those fears. See how you can calm those fears by providing them a security. For example, to respond to my fear of losing my friends, I can try to find new friends, more in line with the person that I am becoming.

4. Get positive examples of people who have succeeded already. I’ve said this many times before – you WILL need support to grow. Surround yourself with people that you admire and who are positive models.

5. Solidify and affirm your new perspective. Repeat, repeat and repeat. I also like to “soften” my mind with meditation. I find that it reduces resistance a lot.

Watch Marie Forleo’s video by following this link.

Hope this helps!
Martin