Healing the Inner Child

Attending the Mission to Millions seminar made me realize how much of my childhood pain I still carry in my current life. Recognizing the pain that is buried inside of us is layer by layer process: we’re not aware of the deeper layers because they are too painful to face. But once you go through a superficial layer and clean the pain that was stored there, you regain some of your personal power and you are ready to tackle a deeper, more painful layer.

This is what happened when I went back to high school 15 years after graduating to speak about my coming out experience. One of my biggest surprises was to realize how inoffensive this environment was, while in my mind I was still carrying the memories of high school being a very hostile place where I was constantly afraid of being bullied. Going back 15 years later with a much stronger self confidence changed my vision of this environment, and it affected my vision of both now and 15 years ago! I know and I feel that I healed a big chunk of my teenage-hood simply by physically going back to a high school and realizing how benevolent this environment can be when coming from a different perspective.

Re-Experiencing with Grownup Eyes

I still find absolutely amazing that our memory retains information according to its emotional importance. I find fascinating that, even though my self-confidence grew a lot since high school, because some memories were inserted in my mind while my self-confidence was at a certain level, I still feel the effects of these events as if my self-confidence had remained to that low level. It’s not enough to KNOW that a certain memory is no longer valid, you have to EXPERIENCE a newer, better event to replace that memory with new information that serves you better.

Unfortunately, I don’t see practical occasions where I could go back to a primary school and heal that part of my childhood as well. But instead I started going back through visualization. I discovered a powerful Energy Healing Therapy that we can perform on ourselves and that works very well. This technique says that the first step to healing the inner child is awareness of your childhood traumas. In my case, it was a fear of lacking and losing affection, a fear of abandonment and a feeling of disconnection from humanity. Once you have found what are the most painful memories of your childhood, you need to invite the pain into your conscious mind. In order to protect you, your subconscious mind has pushed the pain down somewhere inside of you so that you don’t have to consciously feel it anymore, but it still has the same effects on you even though you are not consciously aware of it anymore. You simply have become accustomed to the pain. Carrying a large amount of suffering inside you contributes to keeping you away from the source (or God) and will lead to a feeling of isolation. This will also produce a feeling of missing out on life and of being disconnected from your true passion and life’s purpose.

Going Back to the Source

If you need pointers to help you find out what you biggest childhood hurdles are, you can assume that shame is a good one to start with. Shame is at the core of all wounds. I did a psychotherapy for a few years and my psychologist kept coming back on the theme of shame. It took me years to open up to the concept and realize the amount of shame that I felt during my childhood. My subconscious mind was protecting me and preventing that realization from coming into my conscious mind. And all that time I believed she was on the wrong track! This is just to tell you how much the mind can go to great extents to keep you “protected” from a Truth that could hurt you. The problem though is that the mind is only protecting you on the short term. On the long run, it is better to face the pain of bringing up painful memories and getting rid of them permanently.

So here’s how to do it:

1. Sit or lie down and relax. Take a couple of deep breaths and allow your body to relax completely.

2. Turn your attention inwards and ask yourself what is to be released. Pay close attention to your emotions and to what you feel in your body.

3. Once you have physically located the pain, visualize yourself reaching in and gently pulling it out.

4. Shower was is being removed with love and light and fill the new empty space with light.

5. Once you’re done, surround yourself with a bubble of love and protection and visualize your connection to the cosmos and the earth with a column of light flowing through the top of your head and the bottom of your root chakra.

Continue breathing slowly and deeply for a few minutes to continue the healing process.

As I said earlier, childhood pain is organized in layers. Healing the inner child will therefore likely be done in several steps. You will make more progress during some sessions, less in others. At the beginning it might take more time to scratch the surface but as you get used to the process, it will become easier and easier to address deeper issues.

Click here to read more about the Subconscious Mind Childhood.

Inner Talking – Neville – Awakened Imagination

The Inner Talking we live with is incredibly important. It is what controls our daily actions and regulates the extent of our achievements. In his book “Awakened Imagination“, Neville relates to this concept in Chapter 5, The Coin of Heaven, when he claims that:

“As a rule, man is totally unaware of his inner talking and therefore sees himself not as the cause but the victim of circumstance.”

This concept can be very hard to grasp at first. After all, why would we think that we voluntarily cause ourselves pain? The answer is that we don’t do this consciously to ourselves, but we rather do it subconsciously. Some people are programmed to think negatively, to believe they are constantly sick or simply programmed to keep them in a poor state of mind. This is entirely done through the inner talking. It is the “recorded” voice that plays over and over in our minds and that we become so accustomed to that we ultimately concede it the ultimate power of being the voice of Truth. We don’t even question its authority anymore. We don’t ask ourselves where it comes from, nor if it serves us well. But the first step is to become aware of what that inner voice is telling you. Is it positive? Is it serving you? Where is that voice coming from? Why does it have so much authority on you? The messages that loopback in your mind come from various sources, but the bulk of it probably comes from your parents during your childhood. This is the time in your life when you were the most influenceable. (Read my article on Subconscious Mind Childhood to learn more) If you were repeatedly told that you could achieve any project you undertook: great for you! But if you received messages such as “life is hard”, or that “you easily get sick” or any other negative message, repeated to you over and over, then it took root in your subconscious mind and became one of your internal programs. And when I say “messages”, I don’t mean only the verbal ones. If you saw your parents struggle financially, even though they told you everything was fine, you probably understood two messages. The first is that life is a financial struggle, the second is that you should hide it and pretend you are doing fine. These are some of the messages I got. The most difficult to overcome was the “pretending” one. Because, in order to solve any problem, you need to acknowledge it first. Neville claims it too when he writes that:

“Right inner talking is the first step to becoming what you want to be.”

Once I realized that pretending wasn’t going to solve any issues, and that in fact it simply made matters worse, I started a slow process of recognizing the areas in my life that needed improvement. I became aware of my inner talking and gradually replaced the limiting thoughts with positive ones. This can be a rather long and roller-coaster process. The key to success therefore is perseverance. (You can read my article on Self-Help Perseverance here) Again, the difficulty is that we are limited by our physical senses and it is difficult to persevere in a good habit if we don’t see the results after a short period of time, as this leaves us with the feeling of wasted efforts. In order to counter that, you need to develop faith and the understanding that internal change is occurring even though you don’t yet see it externally. But be certain that, with a great dose of courage, you WILL change your inner talking and achieve what you want to achieve.

Lastly, to increase you chances of success, find an accountability partner! This is what I did and it surely raises the spirit and makes the journey more enjoyable!

Martin

Subconscious mind childhood

Subconscious mind childhood. I learned something very interesting in a webinar from Christie Sheldon yesterday: the brain of infants and children function in different wave lengths than adults. The brain of infants from 0 to 2 years old runs in delta waves from 1 to 3 Hz and children from 2 to 5 experience theta brain waves from 4 to 7 Hz. The adult brain operates at a higher frequency of beta waves from 13 to 30 Hz. I find this fascinating because I heard a few times about theta healing, which is apparently the wavelength in which the brain must be in to reprogram the subconscious mind easily. That would make a lot of sense since this is also the vibrational level in which the brain lowers during meditation. In short, while meditating, we go back to a state close to our infancy’s and therefore become more easily reprogrammable… just like when we were kids! That also means that we can access our subconscious mind better and use this temporary plasticity to insert the beliefs that we choose and which will serve us better! (as opposed to when we were 2 years old and didn’t decide which beliefs were going to be ours)

Wow! Having a scientific explanation certainly adds strength to my current beliefs and to the certitude that I am going in the right direction to improve myself and my life! I did try holosync meditation with Sonia Ricotti’s program and I felt a very strong a positive change in the beginning. I’ve now been doing the program for 6 months and I don’t see the improvements as much but I believe they are still there: it’s just that I’ve become more accustomed to them.

A product that I’ve been wanting to try is Omharmonics by MindValley. I just love everything MindValley does! This is another binaural meditation (a different frequency in each ear) which induces the meditative state better. I believe binaural meditation is a great tool for beginners as it is an easier way to reach deeper meditative states.

I hope that all this wisdom and knowledge is helpful to you and feel free to share your own meditation secrets!

Thanks!
Martin